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" I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that. "

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" I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die. "

" Some things I think are very conservative, or very liberal. I think when someone falls into one category for everything, I'm very suspicious. It doesn't make sense to me that you'd have the same solution to every issue. "

" I think you have to try and fail, because failure gets you closer to what you're good at. "

" The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it. "

" There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it. "

" When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.' "

" There's no such thing as a cheap laugh. "

" I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard. "

" My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people. "

" I like pressure. Pressure doesn't make me crack. It's enabling. I eat pressure, and there might be times when I get a bad feeling in my gut that this might be too much, but you feel pressure when you're not doing something, you know? "

" I've learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work. "

" There's two kinds of press that you get when you put out a TV show: The reviews, and the people that just decide what the reviews say. "

" Everything that people say is testable. "

" I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed. "

" I have a crazy amount of different jobs, so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It's like old computers that had small memory chips, they would do something called swapping, where they would fill the memory with one task, do it and get it out. "

" If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't. "

" I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do. "

" If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye. "

" Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance. "

" When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage. "

" I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat. "

" Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides. "

" I don't have a brother in real life. "

" I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk. "

" To me, art supplies are always okay to buy. "

" I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about. "

" When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore. "

" There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about that. I'm really curious about what people think they're doing when they're doing something evil, casually. I think it's really interesting, that we benefit from suffering so much, and we excuse ourselves from it. "

" Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much. "

" I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself. "