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" The only pitch I have to movie people is the same as this one: Just give me $8 million. I'm not telling you what it's about and I'm not telling you who's in it. "
Louis C. K.
Just
People
Same
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" I've met a lot of people who've lost their jobs and they still have a sense of humor. "
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Lost
Lot
People
" I thought about going to NYU film school - that was this ideal to me. But I didn't make any kind of grades in high school. "
Louis C. K.
School
High School
Grades
" If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye. "
Louis C. K.
Fight
Eye
Character
" I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk. "
Louis C. K.
Think
Try
Talk
" If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it. "
Louis C. K.
Said
Sick
Woman
" Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff. "
Louis C. K.
Two
Things
Other
" I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward. "
Louis C. K.
Growing Up
Little
Up
" Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'. "
Louis C. K.
Eyes
Go
I Am
" I definitely look at my body and I go: 'Yuck.' "
Louis C. K.
Body
Definitely
Go
" I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do. "
Louis C. K.
Every Day
Day
Full
" Comedy isn't polite and it isn't correct and it isn't accurate, even. It's just a mess. So that's the way that I approach it. "
Louis C. K.
Comedy
Correct
Even
" I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.' "
Louis C. K.
Oh
Things
Like
" A household name is like ketchup. Everybody wants ketchup. Ketchup doesn't hurt anybody. "
Louis C. K.
Ketchup
Hurt
Anybody
" Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them. "
Louis C. K.
Attention
Going
Pay Attention
" To me, it's very exhilarating when somebody else does a great thing, and it's not me. "
Louis C. K.
Does
Very
Great
" I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard. "
Louis C. K.
Lying
Years
Last
" When I am in a hotel, and I turn off the lights and the TV, I just freak out. I turn the TV back on and don't get any sleep. "
Louis C. K.
Hotel
Back
Sleep
" I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that. "
Louis C. K.
Kids
Know
Like
" To me the goal of comedy is to just laugh, which is a really high hearted thing, visceral connection and reaction. "
Louis C. K.
Laugh
Comedy
Connection
" I was an awkward kid. "
Louis C. K.
Awkward
Kid
" There's a woman I see who's not my therapist, but she's like an old friend who's a therapist in profession. She lets me talk to her like a therapist once in a while, and she does a great thing. Whenever I have a big dilemma, like this is a big problem in my life, she always says, 'Wow, you're going to have to figure that out.' "
Louis C. K.
Me
Friend
My Life
" I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat. "
Louis C. K.
Crazy
Watching
More
" Perception is created and twisted so quickly. "
Louis C. K.
Quickly
Created
Twisted
" People get successful and they start saying, 'Well of course I am! I was chosen! I'm special!' No, you're not. "
Louis C. K.
I Am
People
Saying
" It's kind of awkward to eat alone in a restaurant because everybody's looking at me. "
Louis C. K.
Looking
Alone
Kind
" Comedians work great as actors because they're good under pressure. With a lot of actors, you have to make them feel like everything's going really well to get a good performance out of them. But, if you have a comedian on the set, you can tell them, 'Hey, you really are screwing this up,' and then they just get better. "
Louis C. K.
Work
Great
Good
" If I do something for my kids, I get a medal, because most fathers don't. "
Louis C. K.
Kids
Get
Because
" Oh, I love stand-up. "
Louis C. K.
Love
Stand-Up
I Love
" When you're young as a comic, you don't have a lot of leverage. "
Louis C. K.
Young
Comic
Leverage
" Being popular with an audience is a very rickety ladder to be on. "
Louis C. K.
Popular
Audience
Being