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" I have never been hurt by what I have not said. "
Calvin Coolidge
Been
Funny
Hurt
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" I've never been to a dinner party where everyone at the dinner table didn't say something funny. "
Lorrie Moore
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Dinner
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" I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time. "
Will Ferrell
Time
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Right
" The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand. "
Fred Allen
Down
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Him
" To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is. "
Dick Cavett
Misunderstanding
Me
Label
" Comedy is surprises, so if you're intending to make somebody laugh and they don't laugh, that's funny. "
Norm MacDonald
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You
Laugh
" Some call-in moderators are neutral and courteous. Then there's Rush Limbaugh, who is funny and pompous and a scapegoater and hatemonger. His popularity could cause you to draw some terrible conclusions about the state of mind of the American people. It helps to remember that Bill Cosby is popular, too. "
Donella Meadows
People
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" I love fools' experiments. I am always making them. "
Charles Darwin
Love
Always
Fools
" I've been fascinated by the Internet from the very start. In 2001, I had made a funny black-and-white film called 'How to Dance Properly,' a short video of me dancing to a Madonna song. I sent it to 17 of my friends on a Thursday, and by Monday, one million people a day were logging on to view it. "
Ze Frank
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" If my mother hadn't laughed at the funny things I did, I probably wouldn't be a comic actor. After she had her first heart attack, the doctor said, 'Try to make her laugh.' And that was the first time I tried to make anyone laugh. "
Gene Wilder
Doctor
Time
She
" It's funny how I use social media because I don't use it to promote my restaurants that much. I use it for social issues and I think that's what it's for. I do a few things - I mess around with music a lot because that's a passion of mine. If something strikes me and I want to share it, I do. "
Tom Colicchio
Social Media
Music
Me
" He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food. "
Raymond Chandler
Angel
About
Food
" I've always found it easier to be funny than to be serious. "
Molly Ivins
Always
Than
Serious
" If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? "
Robin Williams
Psychic
Funny
Need
" I think anyone who has, you know, is in any sort of artistic pursuit, kind of goes up and down with the way they feel about their work. And I, for the most part, am pretty happy person. But, yeah. I go through definite periods of time where I'm not funny. I'm not good. I'm - I don't feel original. "
Will Ferrell
Happy
Work
Time
" There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices. "
Tim Heidecker
Nothing
Choices
Funny
" I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny. "
Don Rickles
Everything
Life
Out
" Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. "
Jim Carrey
Eyes
Her
Great
" Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively. "
Laurence J. Peter
Correct
Three
Man
" I see fighters make funny videos about me and stick them on Facebook and get 20 likes. When I make a video, I sell it to Fox and make seven figures. That's the difference. "
Conor McGregor
Me
See
Difference
" I had to act in a school play when I was about ten years old. I really didn't want to do it. But everyone had to do it so I didn't have a choice. A talent agent came and watched it and later gave me some work. It's funny because I'd always known that I wanted a movie career. I just didn't think that I would be in the movies. "
Kristen Stewart
Work
Funny
Talent
" I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Myself
Being Myself
People
" It is only when men begin to worship that they begin to grow. "
Calvin Coolidge
Religion
Grow
Worship
" 'Copper' is my first period piece. It's funny because I've been doing a lot of episodes of 'Elementary' with Johnny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu; they keep bringing me back on the show, and so I go from being an outstanding black doctor to being a kind of hood, ex-car thief who went through rehab in 'Elementary.' "
Ato Essandoh
Funny
Doctor
Black
" I try to be funny and not ignorant. "
Kevin Hart
Funny
Ignorant
Try
" One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself. "
Bill Murray
Myself
Acting
Back
" It's funny: people who meet me say, 'I thought you'd be different.' But I'm still the same guy. "
Bill Engvall
People
Be Different
Funny
" Probably spending 12 years at boarding school - comedy became a survival gene. But I think some people are funny right off the bat, as soon as they can speak or be naughty. "
Eric Idle
Survival
Funny
People
" I don't have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler place. "
Vera Farmiga
Sense Of Humor
Funny
Humor
" I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends. "
Walt Whitman
Believe
Doubt
Enemies
" I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. "
Samuel Goldwyn
Write
Think
Funny