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" There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices. "

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" I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it's OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink. "

" I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. "

" Filming is a funny combination of having a good time and not being able to wait until it's over. "

Nicole Holofcener

Having A Good Time

" I have an unfortunate personality. "

" A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. "

" Online piracy needs to be dealt with itself, because people are just wholesale stealing people's work and not paying for it. It's very hard to figure out a way to fix it. "

" You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it'll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it's not even funny. "

" I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. "

" It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious. "

" All you can do is really the prep work and make sure you're ready to hit each golf shot. Outside of that, you're not sure really what's going to happen. It's a funny game, but I think that's why I love it. You never know, one day to the next; you could go shoot 62, and the next day you're going to shoot 78, and you can't predict it. "

" I don't mean to be funny. "

" God hadn't made me handsome, but he'd given me something, I always felt: funny bones. "

" Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble. "

" Nobody hates hipsters more than hipsters. "

" A good actor is someone who knows how to take the part and make it real and make it honest and be effective in it. If it's in a funny movie and, as long as they are cast in an appropriate way, humor will come from it. "

" I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you. "

" You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. "

Garry Shandling

" All men are equal before fish. "

" There's nothing I dislike more than being in a photo shoot where they say, 'Be yourself.' That's not why I became an actress. That's what I find so funny: that you become an actor, and all of a sudden, everyone wants to know about you. But I didn't become an actor so I could show you me. "

" A word to the wise is infuriating. "

Hunter S. Thompson

" How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven. "

" There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast. "

J. Michael Straczynski

" Turns out you have a really fun time if you go to work every day and focus on being silly and funny and happy! "

" What's another word for Thesaurus? "

" The parrot's so funny. He imitates me and I don't even realize he's doing it. I'm walking around the house talking to myself and whistling and the next day he's said something I've said... it's scary you know? "

" I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. "

" There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off. "

Douglas Coupland

" Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist. "

Sarah Silverman

" You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people. "