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" I like all ladies of all different ages. "

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" Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them. "

" There's no real preparing at home for stand-up. You just go and you just do it. "

" I get mad like anybody else does, but being able to laugh about getting mad is very healthy, and my kids know that. "

" Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides. "

" I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself. "

" When two kids are being completely berserk, and they're naked and throwing food around, sometimes I just let it go because I can see a future where they're going to be dressed, and they're going to be at school. So I kind of let stuff go sometimes. "

" I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from. "

" I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed. "

" To me the goal of comedy is to just laugh, which is a really high hearted thing, visceral connection and reaction. "

" There's no such thing as a cheap laugh. "

" I was a nerd growing up, and I'm a little antisocial and awkward. "

" You have to be aware of who you're talking to in an audience. "

" I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.' "

" You can't direct without a good crew. "

" When I got divorced, I thought 'Well, there goes my act.' "

" I don't know what it's like to be an actor, where if your show gets canceled, really you're just a bum. "

" My ex-wife, she really didn't like the material that I did. And that's something I regret, that I wasn't more careful about making sure that she was O.K. with it. I just sort of didn't ask. So that's how that goes. "

" I don't believe in this idea of, 'That's hate speech, stop it.' "

" When I was first divorced, I started dating younger women, and it was really exciting. But after a while I was like, 'This is just dumb.' "

" A lot of the struggle I had with movies is I really loved moments and tones and feelings in a scene, and I loved creating those, but I never really had great stories to string them together. "

" Life is full of horrible mistakes. "

" Oh, I love stand-up. "

" I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard. "

" Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery. I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go, 'Ugh'. "

" I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to you?' "

" Gay men have to go through something to own their - who they are. They get beat up. They get ostracized. Whatever they go through, if they survive it, they come out very confident people. "

" I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. "

" Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. "

" I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff. "

" It's easier to cancel a show if it's expensive. "