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" I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons. "
" There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are. "
" I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks. "
" My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act. "
" In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting. "
" Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing. "
" Joan Rivers was my hero. "
" I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell. "
" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "
" Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage. "
" If I was married to a man, and I had the same life situation that I have, it's the perfect recipe for a sitcom. "
" I always dreamed of living in N.Y.C. "
" I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make your second left by the Dairy Queen. Don't go in, they're anti-Semitic.' "
" The first time I did stand-up was on a dare. "
" I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy. "
" Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking. "
" It's fun to be someone else. "
" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "
" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "
" Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was. "
" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "
" I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything. "
" Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power. "
Point Of View
" Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I. "
" As scary as it was being raised by one Jewish mother, I have to feel for my kids because they have two Jewish mothers. "
" Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love. "
" The more life experience you have, the more comedy you can write. "
" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "
" When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.' "
" Growing up in New Jersey, bat mitzvas were all about the elegant parties. "
" My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. "