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" I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks. "

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" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "

" If I was married to a man, and I had the same life situation that I have, it's the perfect recipe for a sitcom. "

" I always dreamed of living in N.Y.C. "

" Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I. "

" Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was. "

" I'm not sure when exactly I knew I was funny, but I always knew I was different. I never had an 'edit' button and would say whatever came into my head. Most of the time, what came out of my mouth was the very thing everyone else was thinking - but too polite or afraid to verbalize. "

" Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing. "

" I realize as I get older that stand-up is a huge part of who I am. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life. "

" My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. "

" In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting. "

" We all know showbiz isn't easy, but being a comic - especially being a female comic - can be quite punishing. "

" For me, humor is everything! "

" Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage. "

" I love being a Givenik Ambassador. Not only does it give me a platform to discuss my favorite charities, but I get to talk about my other favorite topic - 'The Judy Show!' "

" I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay. "

" Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite. "

" Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love. "

" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "

" There is nothing - nothing - like writing a great joke and having that joke kill onstage. "

" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "

" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "

" Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power. "

" When I got a part in 'All American Girl,' in 1994, I remember thinking, 'Now I have a series, I'm not going to need to do standup,' but every night I'd go out afterward and get onstage somewhere. "

" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "

" My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. "

" As scary as it was being raised by one Jewish mother, I have to feel for my kids because they have two Jewish mothers. "

" Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator. "

" I'm not selfish at all. "

" Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking. "

" When you see another tall woman on the street, you nod, sort of like Orthodox Jews. "