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" In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting. "

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" If I was married to a man, and I had the same life situation that I have, it's the perfect recipe for a sitcom. "

" Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience. "

" Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love. "

" I realize as I get older that stand-up is a huge part of who I am. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life. "

" I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make your second left by the Dairy Queen. Don't go in, they're anti-Semitic.' "

" There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are. "

" Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking. "

" Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator. "

" 'The Judy Show' would be the name of my TV show if I had one, but I don't. "

" My mother is a tall woman - as is everyone in my family. At her prime, she stood 5 feet 9 inches, which is quite unusual for a woman born in 1922. "

" I'm not selfish at all. "

" Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage. "

" Joan Rivers was my hero. "

" I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy. "

" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "

" When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.' "

" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "

" Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite. "

" I do believe that it's something that we don't talk about, but when there are clearly defined gender roles, it is much simpler. Because you don't have to think, which people apparently don't like to do. "

" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "

" We all know showbiz isn't easy, but being a comic - especially being a female comic - can be quite punishing. "

" I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons. "

" Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. "

" I've never been on one of these shows where you have to make alliances and be a team player. "

" I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay. "

" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "

" I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything. "

" Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing. "

" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "

" When Joan Rivers walked through the curtain on 'The Tonight Show,' nobody in my house was allowed to utter a sound. Her gait was full of pep and purpose and her voice unmatched. "