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" When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.' "
Judy Gold
Myself
Kid
Fans
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" I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make your second left by the Dairy Queen. Don't go in, they're anti-Semitic.' "
Judy Gold
Mother
Street
Think
" I realize as I get older that stand-up is a huge part of who I am. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life. "
Judy Gold
Think
Rest
Older
" Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite. "
Judy Gold
Yourself
Lady
Opinions
" Mother humor is such a universal theme. I wrote a show called '25 Questions for a Jewish Mother.' I had people coming up to me after the show saying, 'I'm Baptist, and my mother is just like yours.' "
Judy Gold
Saying
Mother
Humor
" I try to win the love and approval of strangers, since it didn't work with my family. "
Judy Gold
Win
Family
Work
" The more life experience you have, the more comedy you can write. "
Judy Gold
Comedy
You
More
" Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh. "
Judy Gold
Comedy
Way
People
" My mother is a tall woman - as is everyone in my family. At her prime, she stood 5 feet 9 inches, which is quite unusual for a woman born in 1922. "
Judy Gold
Woman
Mother
She
" I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy. "
Judy Gold
Love
Vulgar
Kind
" Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator. "
Judy Gold
Got
Bad
Started
" I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons. "
Judy Gold
Bathroom
Apartment
Two
" Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. "
Judy Gold
Halloween
Creative
Opportunity
" My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. "
Judy Gold
Sons
Two
Biggest
" There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are. "
Judy Gold
Reason
You
Who
" In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting. "
Judy Gold
Counting
Been
Jewish
" I've gotten resistance for my entire career. "
Judy Gold
Resistance
Entire Career
Career
" If I was married to a man, and I had the same life situation that I have, it's the perfect recipe for a sitcom. "
Judy Gold
Man
Had
Situation
" Growing up in New Jersey, bat mitzvas were all about the elegant parties. "
Judy Gold
Bat
About
Up
" I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell. "
Judy Gold
Tell
Military
Media
" I do believe that it's something that we don't talk about, but when there are clearly defined gender roles, it is much simpler. Because you don't have to think, which people apparently don't like to do. "
Judy Gold
People
Believe
Gender
" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "
Judy Gold
Laugh
Women
She
" The first time I did stand-up was on a dare. "
Judy Gold
Dare
Time
First
" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "
Judy Gold
People
Children
Love
" My Shabbat dinner is not to be reckoned with. "
Judy Gold
Dinner
Reckoned
" Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience. "
Judy Gold
City
Audience
Stay
" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "
Judy Gold
Making
Laugh
Job
" Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power. "
Judy Gold
Point Of View
Also
Power
" I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything. "
Judy Gold
Lot
Cooking
You
" For me, humor is everything! "
Judy Gold
Humor
Me
Everything
" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "
Judy Gold
See
Money
Always