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" I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. "

Winston Churchill

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" Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few. "

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" If we open a quarrel between past and present, we shall find that we have lost the future. "

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" I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. "

" I'm for whatever gets you through the night. "

" Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. "

" I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. "

" Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. "

" Yield to temptation. It may not pass your way again. "

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" Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. "

" To build may have to be the slow and laborious task of years. To destroy can be the thoughtless act of a single day. "

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" Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. "

" I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. "

" There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. "

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" Never give in - never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. "

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" I'm not a fussy eater, but when I'm travelling, I try to stick to the same regime and just have my chicken and my mash and broccoli. Otherwise, you start eating all these funny delicacies, and it makes your tummy turn upside down. "

" I like making fun of myself a lot. I like being made fun of, too. I've always enjoyed it. There's just something really, really funny about someone tearing into me. "

" Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. "

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" I am built funny. Picture Mark Twain's head on Ichabod Crane's body. Now hold your mental picture to the light and crumple it. "

" I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. "

" I'll stick to finding the funny in the ordinary because my life is pretty ordinary and so are the lives of my friends - and my friends are hilarious. "

" It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time. "

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" I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. "

" A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then asks you not to kill him. "

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" I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught. "

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" Justice Scalia and I served together on the D.C. Circuit. So his votes are not surprising to me. What I like about him is that he's very funny and very smart. "

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