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" There's a fine line between angry and grumpy. Angry isn't nice, but grumpy is funny. "

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" I try to be funny and not ignorant. "

" The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand. "

" I've been married three times and divorced three times. "

" Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. "

Robert Benchley

" I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. "

" Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away. "

" I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning. "

" As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. "

" I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do. "

Millie Bobby Brown

" A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers. "

" Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. "

" I always have a funny story at communion time that underscores that no one is perfect, and that communion is not for perfect people but for hungry people. "

" There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. "

" Funny things tend not to happen to me. I am not a natural comic. I need to think about things a lot before I can be even remotely amusing. "

" I don't have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler place. "

" Every day after school for 10 years, I was on the set of 'Married... with Children,' which is a really funny and perverse place for a little girl in a Catholic school uniform to grow up. "

" I'm very, very amateur, which is funny because I'm not in the amateur leagues. "

" I'm for whatever gets you through the night. "

" I'm good at being funny. "

" There are certain sorts of jokes which have only to do with the substitution of the unexpected word in a familiar context. If you translated something into French and then had it translated back into English by somebody who didn't know the original, you'd lose what was funny. "

" A cultural thing that is funny to me is that every time I go out in D.C. after a show, all the nightclubs and restaurants are owned by Iranians and Afghans. It's funny to me how we lost our countries but we gained the nightlife. "

" Be obscure clearly. "

" The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. "

" I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair. "

Hillary Clinton

" God hadn't made me handsome, but he'd given me something, I always felt: funny bones. "

" I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny. "

" Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. "

George Bernard Shaw

" And at the time, it is funny how you can look at something and say, for example with my shoulder injury, when it first happened I said this is the worst thing that could happen to me. Why me, why now? Now I look back and say it was probably the best thing that happened to me. "

" Never put a sock in a toaster. "

" It's funny how a chubby kid can just be having fun, and people call it entertainment! "