Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer. "

Related Quotes:

" If you believe, as I do believe, in reincarnation, they say that every time you come back, it's because you have to finish something. I've a funny feeling that my thing in this life is to have one relationship after another. "

Marie Helvin

Believe

Relationship

Time

" It's funny: when people always talk about the importance of role models, I used to think that was so exaggerated, but as I get older, I start to realize I don't feel that way so much anymore. If you see somebody like you who's doing something, an older version of what you are, it does make you feel like it's more possible. "

" To be or not to be. That's not really a question. "

" There is nothing in the world that I loathe more than group activity, that communal bath where the hairy and slippery mix in a multiplication of mediocrity. "

" Life would be tragic if it weren't funny. "

" I try to be funny and not ignorant. "

" I had to act in a school play when I was about ten years old. I really didn't want to do it. But everyone had to do it so I didn't have a choice. A talent agent came and watched it and later gave me some work. It's funny because I'd always known that I wanted a movie career. I just didn't think that I would be in the movies. "

" I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. "

Douglas Adams

Love

Sound

" I'm an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat. "

" It's funny how a chubby kid can just be having fun, and people call it entertainment! "

" It's funny, because there are so many stereotypes out there about actors and movie stars in general, but I've had a great opportunity to meet a lot of them, and maybe it's just because they don't behave that way around me, but I rarely see that kind of abuse of power. "

" My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. "

" It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now. "

" What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny. "

Steven Wright

Crazy

Matter

" I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. "

Emo Philips

Door

Kid

" There are a lot of really funny guys who are very natural in what they do: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen. "

" If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. "

" Always remember your kid's name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don't let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers... for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces. "

" The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. "

" Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself. "

" We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know. "

" You can always tell when a man's well informed. His views are pretty much like your own. "

H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Always

You

Man

" I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks. "

" You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. "

" If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. "

" I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. "

" There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness under it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.' "

" Comedy is a tool of togetherness. It's a way of putting your arm around someone, pointing at something, and saying, 'Isn't it funny that we do that?' It's a way of reaching out. "

" I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican. "

" Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.' "

Ron Funches

Funny

Nice