Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" When I was in college, there were certain words you couldn't say in front of a girl. Now you can say them, but you can't say 'girl.' "

Related Quotes:

" An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent. "

" When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex. "

" You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody. "

" I always prided myself on at least trying to be literate and use the right words, and if the audience didn't get it, then they could go home and look it up. "

" Bad weather always looks worse through a window. "

" In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.' "

" I was immersed in popular songs of the time, of the '30s and '40s. I was writing songs, making fun of the attitudes of those songs, in the musical style of the songs themselves; love songs, folk songs, marches, football. "

" It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year. "

" I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. "

" I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that's not exactly a full-time job. It wasn't that I was writing and writing and writing and quit. Every now and then I wrote something, and every now and then I didn't. The second just outnumbered the first. "

" Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play? "

" One of the things I'm proudest of is, on my record 'That Was the Year that Was' in 1965, I made a joke about spending $20 billion sending some clown to the moon. I was against the manned space program then, and I'm even more against it now, that whole waste of money. "

" There's something mathematically satisfying about music: notes fit together and harmony and all that. And mathematics has to do with abstractions and making connections. "

" I have always found it interesting... that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery. "

" Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize. "

" On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. "

" Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you. "

" I loved high school, but I wouldn't want to do it again. "

" I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity. "

" I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! "

" I'm not interested in promoting myself or revealing to total strangers anything about me. That's not my job. "

" I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up. "

" My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun. "

" Eddie Izzard is wonderful, I think, but I've only seen that one HBO special he did. He's one of the few people who talk about stuff other than girlfriends and relationships and flatulence and genitalia. There are very few of them who actually talk about real stuff. "

" The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability. "

" I thought about majoring in Math, Chemistry and English, but Math had the fewest requirements, so I went with it. I knew I wanted to teach, and Math was my field, so I studied Math. "

" Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your thumbs. "

" Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it. "

" Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize. "

" I wasn't really a performer by temperament. "