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" It's funny, because I have periods where I just kind of go dark. I don't tweet, I don't talk, I don't interview, and then I have times where I do. "
" Being funny is everything to me. "
" I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name. "
" I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. "
" I meditate and I also think about meditation. Which is funny. I think about Maharishi, about just the idea of meditating. It gives me something. "
" If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. "
" 'Copper' is my first period piece. It's funny because I've been doing a lot of episodes of 'Elementary' with Johnny Lee Miller and Lucy Liu; they keep bringing me back on the show, and so I go from being an outstanding black doctor to being a kind of hood, ex-car thief who went through rehab in 'Elementary.' "
" Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting. "
" I definitely started to perform a little bit in middle school, but not the typical musical/play route. I think that I am funny, but it was more of a social thing, where that was my part in my circle of friends. "
" A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. "
" It's funny: the one time I got star-struck was when I met Snoop Dogg. I gave him a hug and said, 'I love you, man.' "
I Love You
" So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work. "
" Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested. "
" My hope is that we can spread the word: Wonder Woman is not some unapproachable goddess. She's funny, dangerous, intimidating, brilliant, and compassionate. In many ways, I think she's the most human superheroine there is. "
" Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. "
E. B. White
" I'm a Twitter addict. Jose Andres is a serial tweeter. It's funny to see which chefs have embraced it, and the different paths they take. "
" Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder? "
" The reward of energy, enterprise and thrift is taxes. "
" I try to be funny and not ignorant. "
" My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. "
" I never liked you, and I always will. "
" My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. "
" The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life. "
Seann William Scott
" If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? "
Laurence J. Peter
" The riskiest thing you can do is get greedy. "
" The first day one is a guest, the second a burden, and the third a pest. "
Jean de la Bruyere
" They're great girls. They're very funny, they're very smart, they're fun to be with. They're very lively, as I think people can tell. And you know, they're very confident girls. "
" I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. "
" Every dogma has its day. "
" I would ask my mother to show me how to walk - and she did show me. That's why I think it's funny when people say, 'Did so-and-so teach you how to walk?' And I always say, 'You must be talking about my mother, because it was my mother who taught me how to walk.' "
" Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint. "