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" Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts. "

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" The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. "

Rodney Dangerfield

" Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.' "

" Boston is actually the capital of the world. You didn't know that? We breed smart-ass, quippy, funny people. Not that I'm one of them. I just sorta sneaked in under the radar. "

" I can really stir up a conversation. Every time I go to a meeting or a casting, I try to make it as light and funny as I can. I'm always making really awkward jokes. You have to make life fun and not take it too seriously. I may look like I'm very serious and into my work, but if you knew me, I'm just a jokester. "

Charlotte McKinney

" It's such a funny thing when you see your daughter transitioning from your baby, your little girl, to suddenly being a young woman. If you're not really looking for it, you can miss it, and Lily-Rose is on that road already, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. "

" You win a race, the next race it's a question mark. Are you still the best or not? That's what is funny. But that's what is interesting. And that's what is challenging. You have to prove yourself every time. "

Michael Schumacher

" Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them. "

P. G. Wodehouse

" I'm fascinated with the stories that we tell. Real histories become fantasies and fairy tales, morality tales and fables. There's something interesting and funny and perverse about the way fairytale sometimes passes for history, for truth. "

" Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. "

" I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. "

" Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks. "

" My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at? "

" I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive. "

" You meet folks who are funny and really smart and persistent and loving that are confronting this thing we call poverty, which is just a shorthand for this way of life that holds you underwater. And you just wonder what our country would be if we allowed these people to flourish and reach their full potential. "

Matthew Desmond

" I like having a beard. What's funny is when you shave a beard, you realize how freezing cold your face is! The primary purpose evolution-wise is to keep you warm, to grow hair on your face. You shave it off, and your face is freezing for a few days. "

" Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative. "

Henry Kissinger

" My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration. "

" When I go to a bar, I don't go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine. "

" When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic. "

" There's nothing I would love more than to host an awards show where I'm nominated for an award - that is so funny to me. "

" The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who's really funny for a cartoonist, obviously. "

" Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. "

George Bernard Shaw

" I started writing 'Southern Baptist Sissies' right after I had written the screenplay for 'Sordid Lives', so that's when I started on a darker path in telling the truth about my journey in the church, but there was still a lot of funny. "

" When I was born I owed twelve dollars. "

George S. Kaufman

" A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. "

Ernest Hemingway

" There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. "

" At the end of the day it's got to be a good movie, it's got to be a funny movie, and it's got to make people think, 'Hey, I couldn't have spent my time any better.' "

" There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off. "

Douglas Coupland

" When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. "

" Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. "

Abraham Lincoln