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" I don't really know much about TV and what people want to see. I'm not that well-informed about it. "

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" I have no secrets. "

" I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted. "

" No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all. "

" I'm not quite as anonymous as I was. "

" The lunch in a normal American restaurant is very problematic for me. I don't like to have hot food for lunch. "

" I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War. "

" There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny. "

" I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them. "

" Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for. "

" The best situation is being a single parent. The best part about is that you get time off, too, because the kids are with their mom, so it's the best of both worlds. There's a lot to be said for it. "

" Most people think I'm immodest. "

" I'm anti-cheese in a salad. "

" Anytime I'm involved with anything that's well-received, it's a surprise to me. "

" At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me. "

" I'm still driving a Prius, yeah. "

" My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver. "

" My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time. "

" You know, I'm really not that bright. "

" I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood. "

" I don't like to say anything good. I feel like I'll jinx myself. "

" There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation. "

" I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at all. I was interested in being a great comedian. "

" I don't write shows with dialogue where actors have to memorize dialogue. I write the scenes where we know everything that's going to happen. There's an outline of about seven or eight pages, and then we improvise it. "

" I'm one of the idiots that negotiates after I write. "

" Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised. "

" I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish. "

" I think Michael Moore is a hero. "

" I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' "

" You write about what you know. "

" I think that for the most part, when I started doing comedy, it had become very commercialized. "