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" I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay. "

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" I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make your second left by the Dairy Queen. Don't go in, they're anti-Semitic.' "

" Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power. "

" I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks. "

" My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act. "

" Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. "

" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "

" I've never been on one of these shows where you have to make alliances and be a team player. "

" Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing. "

" I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners. "

" The first time I did stand-up was on a dare. "

" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "

" The more life experience you have, the more comedy you can write. "

" I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell. "

" Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was. "

" Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking. "

" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "

" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "

" I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons. "

" When you see another tall woman on the street, you nod, sort of like Orthodox Jews. "

" Mother humor is such a universal theme. I wrote a show called '25 Questions for a Jewish Mother.' I had people coming up to me after the show saying, 'I'm Baptist, and my mother is just like yours.' "

" I always dreamed of living in N.Y.C. "

" My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. "

" I'm not sure when exactly I knew I was funny, but I always knew I was different. I never had an 'edit' button and would say whatever came into my head. Most of the time, what came out of my mouth was the very thing everyone else was thinking - but too polite or afraid to verbalize. "

" Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh. "

" For me, humor is everything! "

" Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite. "

" I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy. "

" I'm going to be a 'Chopped' champion. "

" In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting. "

" Women risked their lives for the right to vote. When I hear people say, 'Oh, I'm not gonna vote,' I just wanna tear their heart out. "