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" I've gotten resistance for my entire career. "

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" Mother humor is such a universal theme. I wrote a show called '25 Questions for a Jewish Mother.' I had people coming up to me after the show saying, 'I'm Baptist, and my mother is just like yours.' "

" When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.' "

" Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator. "

" I do believe that it's something that we don't talk about, but when there are clearly defined gender roles, it is much simpler. Because you don't have to think, which people apparently don't like to do. "

" My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. "

" My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. "

" I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks. "

" There is nothing - nothing - like writing a great joke and having that joke kill onstage. "

" I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell. "

" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "

" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "

" Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking. "

" I'm not sure when exactly I knew I was funny, but I always knew I was different. I never had an 'edit' button and would say whatever came into my head. Most of the time, what came out of my mouth was the very thing everyone else was thinking - but too polite or afraid to verbalize. "

" I realize as I get older that stand-up is a huge part of who I am. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life. "

" The more life experience you have, the more comedy you can write. "

" Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was. "

" Women risked their lives for the right to vote. When I hear people say, 'Oh, I'm not gonna vote,' I just wanna tear their heart out. "

" I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners. "

" I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay. "

" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "

" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "

" Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage. "

" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "

" I always dreamed of living in N.Y.C. "

" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "

" I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons. "

" My Shabbat dinner is not to be reckoned with. "

" Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience. "

" Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power. "