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" For me, humor is everything! "

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" My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. "

" Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking. "

" We all know showbiz isn't easy, but being a comic - especially being a female comic - can be quite punishing. "

" In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting. "

" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "

" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "

" Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power. "

" I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay. "

" When you see another tall woman on the street, you nod, sort of like Orthodox Jews. "

" Women risked their lives for the right to vote. When I hear people say, 'Oh, I'm not gonna vote,' I just wanna tear their heart out. "

" Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love. "

" My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. "

" There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are. "

" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "

" I'm not selfish at all. "

" I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything. "

" I always dreamed of living in N.Y.C. "

" Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite. "

" Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I. "

" I'm going to be a 'Chopped' champion. "

" It's fun to be someone else. "

" Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator. "

" My mother is a tall woman - as is everyone in my family. At her prime, she stood 5 feet 9 inches, which is quite unusual for a woman born in 1922. "

" There is nothing - nothing - like writing a great joke and having that joke kill onstage. "

" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "

" Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing. "

" As scary as it was being raised by one Jewish mother, I have to feel for my kids because they have two Jewish mothers. "

" I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks. "

" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "

" I realize as I get older that stand-up is a huge part of who I am. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life. "