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" When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us. "

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" Comedians work great as actors because they're good under pressure. With a lot of actors, you have to make them feel like everything's going really well to get a good performance out of them. But, if you have a comedian on the set, you can tell them, 'Hey, you really are screwing this up,' and then they just get better. "

" A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much. "

" I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard. "

" I like pressure. Pressure doesn't make me crack. It's enabling. I eat pressure, and there might be times when I get a bad feeling in my gut that this might be too much, but you feel pressure when you're not doing something, you know? "

" People don't talk to me on airplanes. "

" Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff. "

" There are people that really live by doing the right thing, but I don't know what that is, I'm really curious about that. I'm really curious about what people think they're doing when they're doing something evil, casually. I think it's really interesting, that we benefit from suffering so much, and we excuse ourselves from it. "

" Life isn't something you possess. It's something you take part in, and you witness. "

" I've always loved boxing. It's something I've always been extremely excited about. "

" Sometimes I try to take a nap before shows. That clears my head. "

" If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, like, six months. It's a nightmare to get punched in the eye. "

" Oh, I love stand-up. "

" Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people. "

" You can't cancel my stand-up tours. It's impossible. There's too many separate bosses. There is no 'bosses.' "

" Pushing the envelope' sort of implies that you're inside the envelope with everyone else, and you're trying to find the edges on the outsides. "

" It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them. "

" A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It's a great, very smart way to make television. It's worked for however long TV's been around. "

" I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed. "

" Most people are dead. Did you know that? It's true, out of all the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. "

" It's more fun to experience things when you don't know what's going to happen. "

" There's no such thing as a cheap laugh. "

" Some entertainers don't pay attention to what's going on around them. "

" I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from. "

" When I read things like the foundations of capitalism are shattering, I'm like, maybe we need that. Maybe we need some time where we're walking around with a donkey with pots clanging on the sides. "

" I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die. "

" I think one reason TV has always done well is because there is something comforting where you kind of know what you're going to be taken through. "

" I don't think it makes any sense to try to get anyone to not talk. "

" I wish I could know everything ever, like that would be my wish - that's what I hope heaven is, that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff. "

" My kids are really easy. I often worry that they're too easy to deal with. They're really nice people. "

" I don't have a brother in real life. "