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" Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable. "
Fran Lebowitz
Always
Been
Me
Related Quotes:
" Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. "
Fran Lebowitz
Fall
Romantic
Love Is
" When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough. "
Fran Lebowitz
World
New York
New
" If you're going to America, bring your own food. "
Fran Lebowitz
Food
You
America
" As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. "
Fran Lebowitz
Happy
You
Teen
" Food is an important part of a balanced diet. "
Fran Lebowitz
Important
Diet
Food
" I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood? "
Fran Lebowitz
Wonder
Who
Smart
" I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not. "
Fran Lebowitz
Lottery
Your
You
" Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try. "
Fran Lebowitz
Life Story
Life
Book
" Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. "
Fran Lebowitz
Purpose
Vegetables
Good
" Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set. "
Fran Lebowitz
Like
Look
Crowd
" All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. "
Fran Lebowitz
Fact
Children
Most
" In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. "
Fran Lebowitz
Algebra
Life
Real
" Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met. "
Fran Lebowitz
Like
People
Born
" You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do. "
Fran Lebowitz
People
Will
You
" I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit. "
Fran Lebowitz
People
Value
Place
" Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep. "
Fran Lebowitz
Sleep
Something
You
" Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. "
Fran Lebowitz
Doors
Nature
Comfortable
" Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. "
Fran Lebowitz
Ask
Your
Only
" Humility is no substitute for a good personality. "
Fran Lebowitz
Good
Substitute
Personality
" I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not. "
Fran Lebowitz
Play
Lottery
Chance
" Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you. "
Fran Lebowitz
Phone
Happy
Be Happy
" Andy Warhol made fame more famous. "
Fran Lebowitz
More
Famous
Made
" I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota. "
Fran Lebowitz
Because
Wanted
Never
" Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass. "
Fran Lebowitz
Art
Feeling
People
" The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive. "
Fran Lebowitz
Someone
Reach
Attractive
" Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. "
Fran Lebowitz
Texas
Calling
Iraq
" Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications. "
Fran Lebowitz
Book
Just
School
" In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy. "
Fran Lebowitz
Democracy
Communism
Capitalism
" No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. "
Fran Lebowitz
Jump
Animal
Furniture
" Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back. "
Fran Lebowitz
Clothing
Never
Want