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" Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set. "

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" My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them. "

Freedom Of Speech

" Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying. "

" If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words. "

" Nothing succeeds like address. "

" Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try. "

" I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood? "

" The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive. "

" Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back. "

" Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure. "

" Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass. "

" If you're going to America, bring your own food. "

" Polite conversation is rarely either. "

" There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior. "

" I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word - politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit. "

" Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met. "

" Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully. "

" Andy Warhol made fame more famous. "

" In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. "

" Humility is no substitute for a good personality. "

" Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add. "

" The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting. "

" You're only as good as your last haircut. "

" Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra. "

" Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. "

" As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. "

" Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won't feel like watching. "

" I must take issue with the term 'a mere child', for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult. "

" To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel. "

" In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy. "

" Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. "