Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" The Internet offers opportunities that are more unique than ever before. With TV, I know I'm making 22 minutes; I know there's a commercial in the middle. With the Internet, no one knows anything. No rules. "

Related Quotes:

" A lot of times, you could play me just the laughs from my set, and I could tell you, from the laugh, what the joke was. Because they match. "

Jerry Seinfeld

Joke

Play

" I don't want to be too critical of what other people do, but when people go back to do the same thing that they did, I'm completely confused. I'm like, 'Didn't you make that movie already?' I've been very fortunate, and I'm well taken care of, so the least I can do is try to go forward. "

" It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. "

" You spend so much time in the world of virtual that the actual - which nothing is more actual than stand-up - it's a painful experience for the audience, and the comedian a lot of time - we miss that. "

" We sold 'Seinfeld' all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down really well, in others they hated it. "

" The truth is, I had always wanted to be a comedian, but I really didn't have that kind of personality, and it's a terrifying thing to say. "

" If you're a surfer, you just want to surf. You don't know if anyone's going to see you, and you don't really care if they see you. You just live for that feeling. "

" Men want to make women happy. "

" My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law. "

" You can be passionate about anything. "

" I love being a dad. I just love it. "

" A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. "

" You don't even really need a place. But you feel like you're doing something. That is what coffee is. And that is one of the geniuses of the new coffee culture. "

" That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. "

Jerry Seinfeld

True

Spirit

" I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything. "

" I've done a number of Super Bowl ads. And that is the best advertising of the year. That is when people realize they're going to be compared directly against other ads. "

" I do probably 60 concerts a year in the States. And I go out to clubs in the week. I'm doing new stuff all the time. "

" When someone does a small task beautifully, their whole environment is affected by it. "

" When I jumped off a roof in Cannes in a bee costume, I looked ridiculous. But this is my business; I have to humiliate myself. "

" Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome. "

" There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, 'I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.' "

" Forty is when you actually begin even deserving to be on stage telling people what you think. "

" We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a little depressed. Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup. "

" I'll tell you one thing, since I'm married, single people look absolutely ridiculous to me. "

" I prefer the old theaters because the audience is... trapped. "

" Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. "

" Stand-up is hard. Or to keep it at a certain level is hard: I have no writers but me. "

" I wrote an article on a new Porsche for 'Automobile Magazine.' I knew the editor, and she asked me to write this article. So I'm more proud of that than anything. "

Jerry Seinfeld

Proud

New

" To a guy like me, a laugh is full of information. "

Jerry Seinfeld

Laugh

" I think of myself more as a sportsman than I do an artist. "