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" My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger. "
Billy Connolly
Intellectual
Funny
Thinking
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" I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it. "
Flannery O'Connor
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" I'm a classic example of all humorists - only funny when I'm working. "
Peter Sellers
Example
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Only
" An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out. "
George Jean Nathan
Out
Optimist
Looking
" The funny thing is, I'm so used to not caring what anyone says, good or bad, that unfortunately even when people say good things... I wish it made me feel good, but it doesn't. "
Rob Zombie
People
Caring
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" I think that I come off as, 'Nothing bothers me, I don't care! I'm funny and sassy.' But I'm deeply sensitive. Not only about myself but to others. Not to pat myself on the back, empathy is a quality I've cultivated over my life. It came naturally to me as a child. "
Laura Benanti
Child
Empathy
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" I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny. "
Demetri Martin
Funny
Kid
Me
" I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced. "
Ruby Wax
Funny
Where
American
" It's not so much what you learn about Mumbai, it's what you learn about yourself, really. It's a funny old hippie thing, but it's true as well. You find out a lot about yourself and your tolerance, and about your inclusiveness. "
Danny Boyle
Yourself
True
Tolerance
" Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley's very funny, very witty guy, very quick. "
Joe Rogan
Funny
Brilliant
Guy
" As for our majority... one is enough. "
Benjamin Disraeli
Majority
Our
Enough
" We didn't even think about it, you know? I used to collect laser discs, and you'd have some college professor analyzing It's a Wonderful Life or Citizen Kane, and now it is pretty funny - the idea of commentary for a silly kid's movie, you know? "
Dana Carvey
Think
You
Life
" Mariah is a beautiful and talented person, and I've had a crush on her for as long as I can remember. Every day, my respect for Mariah continues to grow higher. She's a caring, warm and funny person. People have no idea how funny she is! I feel like I've always known she was my forever love. "
Nick Cannon
Funny
Love
Day
" I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. "
Groucho Marx
Evening
Wonderful
Had
" A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters. "
Barbara Corcoran
Funny
Back
Back Up
" There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. "
Henry Kissinger
Funny
Schedule
Week
" I had no desire to get up onstage and tell jokes. I prefer to stand next to really funny people. "
Jon Hamm
Up
Desire
Funny
" If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything. "
William Lyon Phelps
Succeed
First
Find
" The great thing for me about 'The Resurrection of Gavin Stone' is it's a throwback to the old fashioned Hollywood movie that you can watch with your family, has a message, and is funny and entertaining. They didn't call them faith-based movies; they just called them good movies. "
D. B. Sweeney
Movies
Family
Funny
" When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. "
Henny Youngman
Funny
Say
God
" I was so afraid to even read a paper in front of my classmates. It is very funny because at that point my teachers would never have believed that I could speak in front of an audience of over 2,000 people. "
Petra Nemcova
Speak
Audience
People
" Filming is a funny combination of having a good time and not being able to wait until it's over. "
Nicole Holofcener
Time
Funny
Having A Good Time
" If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. "
Johnny Carson
Radio
Television
Still
" I'm not a fan of any genre but am a fan of movies that are intelligent and/or funny. That goes across all genres: a horror movie, a zombie movie, alien invaders, chick flick, or raunchy comedy. If it's well done, I'm a fan. "
J. K. Simmons
Well Done
Movies
Funny
" When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.' "
Steven Wright
Say
Attention
Day
" As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. "
Calvin Trillin
Everyone
Far
Funny
" The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. "
Phyllis Diller
Time
Funny
Only
" Life is funny, and a lot of times, the people that I've met have really gone past anything that I've ever dreamed of, so I'm really grateful. My friendships really go from the West to the East. You'd be amazed at some of the people I call friends. "
BeBe Winans
Funny
People
You
" What is scary to me is silly to somebody else. CG isn't scary to me. It's like comedy - comedy and horror are quite similar, in that there'll always be somebody who'll say, 'I don't think that was funny.' And it's the same with things that are meant to be scary. "
Guillermo del Toro
Think
Comedy
Horror
" If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay. "
Tom Hanks
Funny
You
Okay
" If I feel you're funny, I want to work with you. "
Danielle Schneider
Funny
Feel
You