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" Until I was about 14, I was a fat boy, or at least I looked like a fat boy. I think that being funny was a bit of a defence mechanism for me, so I ended up being a bit of a joker. "

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" What's funny is that the idea of popularity - even the use of the word 'popular' - is something that had been mostly absent from my life since junior high. In fact, the hallmark of life after junior high seemed to be the shedding of popularity as a central concern. "

Susan Orlean

High

Word

Life

" All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other people think that what you think is funny is funny. I don't have an answer but I just try to plough straight ahead. "

" All you can do is really the prep work and make sure you're ready to hit each golf shot. Outside of that, you're not sure really what's going to happen. It's a funny game, but I think that's why I love it. You never know, one day to the next; you could go shoot 62, and the next day you're going to shoot 78, and you can't predict it. "

" When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice. "

" Any joke can be funny, but not any joke is funny. Any joke has the potential to be hilarious to you, but more importantly, the joke has the potential to not be funny to you but to someone else. "

Phoebe Robinson

Funny

Potential

" We didn't even think about it, you know? I used to collect laser discs, and you'd have some college professor analyzing It's a Wonderful Life or Citizen Kane, and now it is pretty funny - the idea of commentary for a silly kid's movie, you know? "

" I would ask my mother to show me how to walk - and she did show me. That's why I think it's funny when people say, 'Did so-and-so teach you how to walk?' And I always say, 'You must be talking about my mother, because it was my mother who taught me how to walk.' "

Naomi Campbell

People

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" There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices. "

" Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. "

Charles Dudley Warner

Anything

Funny

About

" I always have a funny story at communion time that underscores that no one is perfect, and that communion is not for perfect people but for hungry people. "

" I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. "

" I looked on my stomach and saw Frieda Rebecca, white as flour with the cream that covers new babies, funny little dark squiggles of hair plastered over her head, with big, dark-blue eyes. "

" We, as Americans, at least - I mean, I love my country - but we're so self-righteous sometimes, in terms of, like, our nationality, our country. But we're people from somewhere else; the true 'Americans' are the original peoples. It's funny, but we're a very territorial species. "

" If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. "

Alice Roosevelt Longworth

You

Sit

" I'm crazy, funny, and good looking! "

" Never fight an inanimate object. "

" Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America. "

" Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. "

" The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. "

" We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. "

" It's funny what memory does, isn't it? My favorite holiday tradition might not have happened more than once or twice. But because it is such a good memory, so encapsulating of everything I love about the holidays, in my mind it happened every year. Without fail. "

" The inspiration for my Vines comes from thinking about funny and relatable experiences from my daily life. "

" My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. "

Woody Allen

Funny

I Am

" My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. "

Jay London

Mood

Playground

" I'm known as a kind of dramatic, serious, almost humorless actor and the fact is, I'm a funny guy, and I spend most of my life trying to find a lighter side of things, and on stage was given plenty of opportunity to do that. "

" I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far. "

" A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. "

" A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers. "

" If you had of told me age 10 that in 19 years time I would be on a stage in Salford performing with Les Dennis in a sitcom I had written, I would have believed you. "

Pippa Evans

Age

Stage

" Everything I like is either illegal, immoral or fattening. "

Alexander Woollcott

Illegal

Funny