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" I always have a funny story at communion time that underscores that no one is perfect, and that communion is not for perfect people but for hungry people. "

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" At the end of the day it's got to be a good movie, it's got to be a funny movie, and it's got to make people think, 'Hey, I couldn't have spent my time any better.' "

" To me, wealth is the peace of mind you have, your family, your friends, your colleagues. Everything else is just money, and it really is funny how people pay so much attention to that. "

Ricardo Salinas Pliego

" God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. "

" People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading. "

Logan Pearsall Smith

" Lana Turner was adorable and funny. Jimmy Stewart was such a nice person. I quickly realized that if you're not a nice person, you're not going to last in this business. I mean, once your box office starts to drop off, like Veronica Lake, they'll get rid of you fast. "

" I comment on my friends' things; whatever they post, I post funny posts. I don't post anything that's too sad or mad, or at least not for too long. And I'm usually just a happy person! Silly - people would describe me as silly and crazy and fun. "

" Instant gratification takes too long. "

" Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. "

" There's always going to be someone as funny as you or funnier. "

" There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices. "

" Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. "

" If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. "

" The fact is I'm choosy, but mainly about a man's character. He has to be interesting, funny and clever. I don't even mind if he's not very good-looking. "

" A word to the wise is infuriating. "

Hunter S. Thompson

" If I were to insult people and mean it, that wouldn't be funny. "

" I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. "

" Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else? "

" You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am. "

" It's hard to be funny when you have to be clean. "

" It's a funny old world. "

Margaret Thatcher

" Although I have guitars all around, and I pick them up occasionally and write a tune and make a record, I don't really see myself as a musician. It may seem a funny thing to say. It's just like, I write lyrics, and I make up songs, but I'm not a great lyricist or songwriter or producer. It's when you put all these things together - that makes me. "

George Harrison

" Most citizens viewing the tape of Rodney G. King being beaten by police officers were stunned and uncomprehending. Most citizens, that is, but the urban poor. "

Police Officers

" There is always something funny going on between scenes with Adam Sandler. He's always cracking jokes and yelling at people for no reason. It's pretty funny. He'll joke around during scenes, too. When he guest-starred on 'Jessie,' there was nothing in the script that he said first take. "

" Its funny, because for females in general - not just in music, but the corporate ladder as well - anything we do has always been harder for us. When it comes to music, the industry wants you to conform, to look like this and to sound like this and do this or that. It makes it harder. It's harder for us to come out and be bosses and lead the pack. "

" I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people. "

" Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups. "

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" Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish. "

" Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative. "

Henry Kissinger

" Somebody said something funny to me the other day. They said, 'Wolper, until two weeks ago, your tombstone was going to say, 'David Wolper, the man who produced 'Roots.' I think the tombstone now has a new inscription. It's going to be 'David Wolper, the man who produced the opening ceremony of the 1984 Olympics.' "

David L. Wolper

" I like children - fried. "