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" Even Napoleon had his Watergate. "

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" The funny thing about directing is that you have your own opinions, but it's a collaboration. Directing is a group effort. Even though you might think something works, the smartest thing you can do as a director is try and weigh the opinions of the people around you. "

" It's funny: your happiness is contingent on a bigger picture besides just yourself. "

" So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work. "

" There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. "

" Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. "

" Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken. "

Congratulations

" I never thought of myself as like, a funny person. "

" I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent. "

" If I didn't make it in baseball, I won't have made it workin'. I didn't like to work. "

" I always have a funny story at communion time that underscores that no one is perfect, and that communion is not for perfect people but for hungry people. "

" Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things. "

" If my life wasn't funny, it would just be true, and that's unacceptable. "

" A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. "

" Fashions have done more harm than revolutions. "

" If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. "

" Baseball is 90 percent mental and the other half is physical. "

" As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler. "

" I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do. "

Millie Bobby Brown

" Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be. "

" 'Hustle' is wonderfully enjoyable because all my life, I've made an effort to be with people who can make me laugh. That original cast - Marc Warren, Jaime Murray, Robert Glenister and Adrian Lester - are all funny. So I know every day I'll have a few good laughs. "

" I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. "

" It's so funny how social media was just this fun thing, and now it's this monster that consumes so many millennial lives. "

" So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year? "

Christina Aguilera

" I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair. "

" Every time I do something silly, it comes off really funny because it's natural. "

Shaquille O'Neal

" James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was. "

" I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. "

" When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. "

" The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand. "

" I think maybe one reason why ventriloquists are looked down on is because it's very difficult to be funny. I think what happens is that people get a dummy, they learn the technique of ventriloquism, they memorize the script, they think they're in show business. "