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" I don't like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide. "
" I don't like to make a big splash anyway. "
" You write about what you know. "
" Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. "
" I think that what people imagine they're going through is much worse than what they are going through. "
" When I was living in New York, there was a lot of screaming in my life. I would just get into these altercations all the time. Being in public, dealing with shopkeepers, just trying to cross the street - things like that. "
" I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted. "
" Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then. "
" The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore. "
" I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there. "
" The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial. "
" Perhaps I have a wider range than I'd given myself credit for. "
" I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore. "
" Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate. "
" It has to do - I think - with growing up in an apartment, with my aunt and my cousins right next door to me, with the door open, with neighbors walking in and out, with people yelling at each other all the time. "
" I like to be quiet, and let people find me rather than having to shout at them. "
" There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny. "
" Religion doesn't play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don't think I've ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word 'Jew' or saying it myself. "
" I'm anti-cheese in a salad. "
" I don't have many friends. "
" I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter. "
" Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious. "
" My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver. "
" Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis. "
" My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time. "
" I couldn't be happier that President Bush has stood up for having served in the National Guard, because I can finally put an end to all those who questioned my motives for enlisting in the Army Reserve at the height of the Vietnam War. "
" I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure. "
" Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror. "
" It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home than overseas. "
" I don't like people cleaning my room. "
" There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation. "