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" Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate. "
Larry David
Eat
Fight
Fighting
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" Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman. "
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" No, I am a crier and if people ever saw me privately they would be shocked at what a bowl of mush I am underneath it all. "
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" I'm a walking, talking enigma. We're a dying breed. "
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" I don't write shows with dialogue where actors have to memorize dialogue. I write the scenes where we know everything that's going to happen. There's an outline of about seven or eight pages, and then we improvise it. "
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" There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny. "
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" I'm a walking, talking enigma. "
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" I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges. "
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" If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable - but not as miserable. "
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" Hey, I may loathe myself, but it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm Jewish. "
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" If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny. "
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" Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline that says, Man Gets Married! "
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" I'm not quite as anonymous as I was. "
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" I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter. "
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" And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me. "
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" I'm anti-cheese in a salad. "
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" I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am. "
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" I believe in something. "
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" My life has changed. I'm not walking around any more wishing I wasn't me, which was the case at one time. "
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" The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore. "
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" I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood. "
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" I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous. "
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" I can't stand reading anything that I've said. "
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" People don't yell nasty things at actors - they let them continue. "
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" Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis. "
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" I never thought for a second that anything I ever did was going to make someone cringe. That never occurred to me. "
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" At first, I didn't realize it was gonna be a character. I just thought I was gonna be doing me. "
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" When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless. "
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" I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny. "
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