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" We all know showbiz isn't easy, but being a comic - especially being a female comic - can be quite punishing. "

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" My Shabbat dinner is not to be reckoned with. "

" I've never been on one of these shows where you have to make alliances and be a team player. "

" I try to win the love and approval of strangers, since it didn't work with my family. "

" Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I. "

" I realize as I get older that stand-up is a huge part of who I am. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life. "

" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "

" Women risked their lives for the right to vote. When I hear people say, 'Oh, I'm not gonna vote,' I just wanna tear their heart out. "

" Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking. "

" I'm going to be a 'Chopped' champion. "

" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "

" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "

" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "

" I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks. "

" It's fun to be someone else. "

" My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act. "

" Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was. "

" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "

" My partner and I had our first son in 1996, and the office became the baby's room. Our second son was born in 2001, and the office became the kids' room. "

" 'The Judy Show' would be the name of my TV show if I had one, but I don't. "

" Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing. "

" Growing up in New Jersey, bat mitzvas were all about the elegant parties. "

" I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything. "

" When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.' "

" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "

" I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons. "

" The first time I did stand-up was on a dare. "

" Mother humor is such a universal theme. I wrote a show called '25 Questions for a Jewish Mother.' I had people coming up to me after the show saying, 'I'm Baptist, and my mother is just like yours.' "

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" Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator. "

" I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell. "