Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I've never been on one of these shows where you have to make alliances and be a team player. "

Related Quotes:

" I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay. "

" I try to win the love and approval of strangers, since it didn't work with my family. "

" Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power. "

" Joan Rivers was my hero. "

" When you see another tall woman on the street, you nod, sort of like Orthodox Jews. "

" I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons. "

" Mother humor is such a universal theme. I wrote a show called '25 Questions for a Jewish Mother.' I had people coming up to me after the show saying, 'I'm Baptist, and my mother is just like yours.' "

" My partner and I had our first son in 1996, and the office became the baby's room. Our second son was born in 2001, and the office became the kids' room. "

" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "

" There is nothing - nothing - like writing a great joke and having that joke kill onstage. "

" We all know showbiz isn't easy, but being a comic - especially being a female comic - can be quite punishing. "

" My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act. "

" As scary as it was being raised by one Jewish mother, I have to feel for my kids because they have two Jewish mothers. "

" Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience. "

" I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell. "

" I'm not selfish at all. "

" 'The Judy Show' would be the name of my TV show if I had one, but I don't. "

" Growing up in New Jersey, bat mitzvas were all about the elegant parties. "

" My mother is a tall woman - as is everyone in my family. At her prime, she stood 5 feet 9 inches, which is quite unusual for a woman born in 1922. "

" When Joan Rivers walked through the curtain on 'The Tonight Show,' nobody in my house was allowed to utter a sound. Her gait was full of pep and purpose and her voice unmatched. "

" I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make your second left by the Dairy Queen. Don't go in, they're anti-Semitic.' "

" Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing. "

" My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. "

" I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners. "

" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "

" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "

" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "

" Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I. "

" I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks. "

" Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking. "