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" Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator. "

Judy Gold

Got

Bad

Started

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" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "

" Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I. "

Judy Gold

Care

Cook

" My Shabbat dinner is not to be reckoned with. "

Judy Gold

Dinner

Reckoned

" I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make your second left by the Dairy Queen. Don't go in, they're anti-Semitic.' "

" We all know showbiz isn't easy, but being a comic - especially being a female comic - can be quite punishing. "

" I'm not selfish at all. "

Judy Gold

Selfish

" My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act. "

" There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are. "

" I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks. "

" Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love. "

" I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners. "

" I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything. "

" Women risked their lives for the right to vote. When I hear people say, 'Oh, I'm not gonna vote,' I just wanna tear their heart out. "

" My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. "

" There is nothing - nothing - like writing a great joke and having that joke kill onstage. "

Judy Gold

Nothing

Writing

" When you see another tall woman on the street, you nod, sort of like Orthodox Jews. "

" My partner and I had our first son in 1996, and the office became the baby's room. Our second son was born in 2001, and the office became the kids' room. "

" Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power. "

" I try to win the love and approval of strangers, since it didn't work with my family. "

" Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage. "

" Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing. "

" I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy. "

" Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite. "

" In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting. "

" For me, humor is everything! "

Judy Gold

Humor

Everything

" Joan Rivers was my hero. "

" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "

" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "

" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "

" I love being a Givenik Ambassador. Not only does it give me a platform to discuss my favorite charities, but I get to talk about my other favorite topic - 'The Judy Show!' "

Judy Gold

Talk

Love