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" Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth. "

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" If I'm riding my bike I just replay the same scenarios over and over in my head, like I haven't had a new mental adventure since high school. So that's what I like about books on tape, so my mind can't wander anywhere. "

" Because I've always been a fairly nervous person. "

" Lovers of audio books learn to live with compromise. "

" The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons. "

" I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like. "

" What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny. "

" I've never gone on Facebook and am not sure I understand it. The same goes for Twitter. I have someone sending tweets and pretending to be me, but I don't know why. "

" I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's. "

" I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer. "

" I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners. "

" When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. "

" Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself. "

" Actually I liked that 'Let the Right One In,' that Swedish vampire movie. "

" I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter. "

" I don't like being left to my own thoughts. "

" I like nonfiction books about people with wretched lives. "

" I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had to force myself. Then it became part of my identity, and I did it without thinking. "

" I've been keeping diaries for 27 years. "

" I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated. "

" I like listening to books as well, as that way you can iron at the same time. "

" They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity. "

" I love 'Glee.' "

" I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the 'Harry Potter' books. "

" I like books on tape, and will listen to just about anything. "

" As a foreigner in London, I like that there are so many other foreigners. "

" I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you. "

" I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it okay to cry. "

" The only real advice you can give anyone is to keep writing. "

" People ask me, 'Have you ever considered doing stand-up?' To me it would be less offensive if someone asked me, 'Have you ever considered dental implants?' "

" People ask if I miss it, but they don't understand that American culture is so ubiquitous that there's nothing to miss. I don't see myself moving back. It's not that I hate the United States. I just always thought it would be a shame not to live in a foreign country. "