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" I've been keeping diaries for 27 years. "
David Sedaris
Years
Keeping
Been
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" I like books on tape, and will listen to just about anything. "
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" I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended. "
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Everything
Show
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" I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like. "
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" I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration. "
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Been
Used
Always
" I like nonfiction books about people with wretched lives. "
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" I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.' "
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Myself
Uncomfortable
Yourself
" Sometimes I say to myself, 'Oh, I wish I could win a Tony Award', although I'm not that bothered. "
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" I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story. "
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Say
Story
Think
" But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I'll take either. "
David Sedaris
Being
Take
Laughed
" I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine. "
David Sedaris
Reading
Enjoy
Just
" My sister Tiffany told me years ago, 'You can never write about me.' Then she called six months ago and said she wanted to be in a story. She was worried people thought I didn't like her. "
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You
Thought
Story
" They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity. "
David Sedaris
Electricity
People
Nothing
" I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners. "
David Sedaris
Listeners
Having
Million
" I like listening to books as well, as that way you can iron at the same time. "
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Like
Iron
Listening
" Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it. "
David Sedaris
Get
Away
Boy
" There are lots of things that happen to me that I don't write about. "
David Sedaris
Me
Lots
Things
" But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter. "
David Sedaris
Humorist
Never
Reporter
" But most good movies have a gun in them. "
David Sedaris
Good
Them
Movies
" I don't like being left to my own thoughts. "
David Sedaris
Own
Thoughts
Being
" No one writes dialect better than Flannery O'Connor. No one should even try. "
David Sedaris
Than
Should
Try
" I don't have email. "
David Sedaris
Email
" I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me. "
David Sedaris
Movies
Go
Everything
" I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you. "
David Sedaris
Policy
Good
Always
" If you read somebody's diary, you get what you deserve. "
David Sedaris
Somebody
You
Read
" I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later. "
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Writing
Started
Years
" Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth. "
David Sedaris
Feel
Sometimes
Mouth
" When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard. "
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Look
Writing
You
" I love 'Glee.' "
David Sedaris
Love
I Love
Glee
" My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining. "
David Sedaris
Well
Different
Family
" People ask if I miss it, but they don't understand that American culture is so ubiquitous that there's nothing to miss. I don't see myself moving back. It's not that I hate the United States. I just always thought it would be a shame not to live in a foreign country. "
David Sedaris
People
Culture
Hate