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All Quotes by author - David Sedaris
" Actually I liked that 'Let the Right One In,' that Swedish vampire movie. "
Swedish
Right
Movie
" After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations. "
Dangerous
Parents
Potential
" Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself. "
Truth Is
Myself
Think
" As a foreigner in London, I like that there are so many other foreigners. "
Foreigners
Other
London
" Because I've always been a fairly nervous person. "
Because
Nervous
Always
" But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I'll take either. "
Being
Take
Laughed
" But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter. "
Humorist
Never
Reporter
" But most good movies have a gun in them. "
Good
Them
Movies
" Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it. "
Get
Away
Boy
" I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated. "
Wanted
Knew
Illustrated
" I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you. "
Policy
Good
Always
" I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it OK to cry. "
Writing
Cry
Time
" I don't have email. "
Email
" I don't like being left to my own thoughts. "
Own
Thoughts
Being
" I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's. "
My Life
Interesting
Life
" I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.' "
Myself
Uncomfortable
Yourself
" If I'm riding my bike I just replay the same scenarios over and over in my head, like I haven't had a new mental adventure since high school. So that's what I like about books on tape, so my mind can't wander anywhere. "
School
Adventure
Bike
" If you read somebody's diary, you get what you deserve. "
Somebody
You
Read
" I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me. "
Movies
Go
Everything
" I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the 'Harry Potter' books. "
Guilty
Books
Pleasure
" I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out. "
Long
Change
Got
" I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine. "
Reading
Enjoy
Just
" I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story. "
Say
Story
Think
" I like books on tape, and will listen to just about anything. "
Like
Books
Will
" I like listening to books as well, as that way you can iron at the same time. "
Like
Iron
Listening
" I like nonfiction books about people with wretched lives. "
Books
Like
Nonfiction
" I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like. "
Write
Reserve
Whatever
" I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people say, oh the book signings go on, why would I shoo away someone who's giving me attention? What part of standing in line for 10 hours to say how much they love you is bad to you? "
Love
Me
Book
" I love 'Glee.' "
Love
I Love
Glee
" I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it okay to cry. "
Writing
Feel
Know
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