Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated. "

Related Quotes:

" I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine. "

" I don't have email. "

" To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news. "

" I sometimes read books on my iPad. "

" My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining. "

" Because I've always been a fairly nervous person. "

" I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people say, oh the book signings go on, why would I shoo away someone who's giving me attention? What part of standing in line for 10 hours to say how much they love you is bad to you? "

" When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. "

" They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity. "

" I love 'Glee.' "

" I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter. "

" I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story. "

" When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard. "

" No one writes dialect better than Flannery O'Connor. No one should even try. "

" I don't like being left to my own thoughts. "

" I like books on tape, and will listen to just about anything. "

" I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like. "

" I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer. "

" Do I exaggerate? Boy, do I, and I'd do it more if I could get away with it. "

" I think it's important to take chances. "

" Lovers of audio books learn to live with compromise. "

" Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth. "

" Actually I liked that 'Let the Right One In,' that Swedish vampire movie. "

" But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter. "

" I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you. "

" I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out. "

" Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself. "

" I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me. "

" Sometimes I say to myself, 'Oh, I wish I could win a Tony Award', although I'm not that bothered. "

" It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?' "