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" Every day after school for 10 years, I was on the set of 'Married... with Children,' which is a really funny and perverse place for a little girl in a Catholic school uniform to grow up. "
Meghan Markle
Children
Day
Funny
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" Turn up the lights. I don't want to go home in the dark. "
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" They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that? "
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" They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. "
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" I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far. "
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" Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. "
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" I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced. "
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" Definitely working on 'Deal or No Deal' was a learning experience, and it helped me to understand what I would rather be doing. "
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" I'm an unorthodox type of guy, a funny guy - at least I think I'm funny. And one of the things I like to do is come up with nicknames for myself. "
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" Being 'ethnically ambiguous', as I was pegged in the industry, meant I could audition for virtually any role. Morphing from Latina when I was dressed in red, to African American when in mustard yellow, my closet filled with fashionable frocks to make me look as racially varied as an Eighties Benetton poster. "
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" I started working at a soup kitchen in skid row of Los Angeles when I was 13 years old, and the first day, I felt really scared. I was young, and it was rough and raw down there, and though I was with a great volunteer group, I just felt overwhelmed. "
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" I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them. "
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" It's really attractive if a man has a skill that you want to improve in yourself. If you can learn from someone, then that's sexy. "
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" My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra. "
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" I think maybe one reason why ventriloquists are looked down on is because it's very difficult to be funny. I think what happens is that people get a dummy, they learn the technique of ventriloquism, they memorize the script, they think they're in show business. "
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" We didn't even think about it, you know? I used to collect laser discs, and you'd have some college professor analyzing It's a Wonderful Life or Citizen Kane, and now it is pretty funny - the idea of commentary for a silly kid's movie, you know? "
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