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" Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions. "

Related Quotes:

" The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. "

" American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it. "

" As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. "

" The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter. "

" You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. "

" People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. "

" Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep. "

" The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. "

" Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything. "

" The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number. "

" My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible. "

" I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems. "

" Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent. "

" I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War. "

" Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. "

" It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent. "

" If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland. "

" There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary. "

" Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough. "

" What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. "

" The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs. "

" Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid. "

" Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. "

" We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail. "

" The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins. "

" If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.' "

" It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin. "

" For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. "

" I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories. "

" The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. "