Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. "

Related Quotes:

" My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. "

" Television is the triumph of machine over people. "

" I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy. "

" It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals. "

" Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making. "

" All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it. "

" You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart. "

" A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better. "

" Imitation is the sincerest form of television. "

" An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt. "

" Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything. "

" An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission. "

" An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match. "

" A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done. "

" A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. "

" Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent. "

" A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary. "

" I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. "

" I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. "

" I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin. "

" California is a great place to live if you're an orange. "

" I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement. "

" A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. "

" I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. "

" Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great. "

" If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race. "

" I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. "

" The first thing that strikes a visitor to Paris is a taxi. "

" Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars. "

" The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. "