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" A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better. "
Fred Allen
Will
Press
Star
Related Quotes:
" Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. "
Fred Allen
Stars
Church
God
" Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making. "
Fred Allen
Bag
Men
Mediocrity
" What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement. "
Fred Allen
Your
Mind
Allow
" California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. "
Fred Allen
Live
Funny
Place
" I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. "
Fred Allen
Up
You
Yourself
" An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer. "
Fred Allen
Will
Guy
Producer
" The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. "
Fred Allen
Religion
People
Funny
" I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. "
Fred Allen
People
Like
Long
" A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on. "
Fred Allen
Man
Who
Woman
" An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match. "
Fred Allen
Actor
Success
Small
" A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done. "
Fred Allen
Nothing
Who
Meet
" Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars. "
Fred Allen
Mistake
Stars
Place
" The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference. "
Fred Allen
Exposed
Advertising
Conference
" Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. "
Fred Allen
Puns
Good
Hanging
" Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything. "
Fred Allen
Television
Watch
Who
" I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. "
Fred Allen
Because
Family
Know
" An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt. "
Fred Allen
Like
Laundry
Lose
" Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you. "
Fred Allen
Strange
Life
Shoulders
" You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's heart. "
Fred Allen
Fruit
Heart
Place
" Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great. "
Fred Allen
Great
Bad
Competition
" Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year. "
Fred Allen
Never
Year
Creation
" I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. "
Fred Allen
Back
Got
Day
" Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. "
Fred Allen
Wild
Church
Failure
" Imitation is the sincerest form of television. "
Fred Allen
Form
Sincerest
Imitation
" Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners. "
Fred Allen
Like
Treat
Partners
" I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is. "
Fred Allen
Remember
Three
Trouble
" A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. "
Fred Allen
Glasses
Person
Famous
" It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually supportive alliances through which partners recognize their dependence on each other for the achievement of shared and private goals. "
Fred Allen
World
Achievement
Go
" An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission. "
Fred Allen
Agency
Business
Confusion
" I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement. "
Fred Allen
Play
Own
My Own