Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" If I feel you're funny, I want to work with you. "

Danielle Schneider

Related Quotes:

" A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. "

" It's funny what memory does, isn't it? My favorite holiday tradition might not have happened more than once or twice. But because it is such a good memory, so encapsulating of everything I love about the holidays, in my mind it happened every year. Without fail. "

" Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. "

" I went to private school for a very long time, and we always wore uniforms. Then in third grade, I switched to a public school, so I was so excited to wear what I wanted on the first day. I remember I chose this orange hoodie with a skirt, and it's so funny when I think about it now because my style really hasn't changed that much. "

" Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs. "

Alfred Hitchcock

" It's funny, I get a little quieter with time. I don't want to chase my tail and one day repeat myself and repeat myself and one day have kids going to college and not have memories that I should, because I was too busy doing my thing. "

" There are certain sorts of jokes which have only to do with the substitution of the unexpected word in a familiar context. If you translated something into French and then had it translated back into English by somebody who didn't know the original, you'd lose what was funny. "

" A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.' "

" I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. "

" Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. "

" My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain. "

" Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons. "

" Say what you will about the ten commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. "

" It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. "

" On all the 'Housewives' shows, there's always some wannabe wife who's always sticking her head in. "

Danielle Schneider

" You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough. "

" A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. "

" There's something very authentic about humor, when you think about it. Anybody can pretend to be serious. But you can't pretend to be funny. "

" There's nothing I would love more than to host an awards show where I'm nominated for an award - that is so funny to me. "

" People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life. "

" When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.' "

" No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are. "

Ellen DeGeneres

" If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? "

Abraham Lincoln

" It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. "

Adlai E. Stevenson

" When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side. "

" Everyone who has ever met me for at least five minutes knows I'm a really funny person. I love to laugh and to make people laugh, so writing comedy comes naturally to me. "

" To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is. "

Misunderstanding

" What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny. "

" I'm not a fan of any genre but am a fan of movies that are intelligent and/or funny. That goes across all genres: a horror movie, a zombie movie, alien invaders, chick flick, or raunchy comedy. If it's well done, I'm a fan. "

" If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. "