Get QuoteDark Inspirational Quotes App

" I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who didn't get any laughs when they told their story. "

David Sedaris

Say

Story

Think

Related Quotes:

" I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter. "

David Sedaris

Reporter

New

" After a few months in my parents' basement, I took an apartment near the state university, where I discovered both crystal methamphetamine and conceptual art. Either one of these things are dangerous, but in combination they have the potential to destroy entire civilizations. "

" My sister Tiffany told me years ago, 'You can never write about me.' Then she called six months ago and said she wanted to be in a story. She was worried people thought I didn't like her. "

" If I'm riding my bike I just replay the same scenarios over and over in my head, like I haven't had a new mental adventure since high school. So that's what I like about books on tape, so my mind can't wander anywhere. "

" I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer. "

" What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny. "

" Lovers of audio books learn to live with compromise. "

" I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it okay to cry. "

" I guess my guilty pleasure would be listening to the British audio versions of the 'Harry Potter' books. "

" To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news. "

" I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had to force myself. Then it became part of my identity, and I did it without thinking. "

" They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity. "

" I just enjoy lying on the couch and reading a magazine. "

" I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later. "

" I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people say, oh the book signings go on, why would I shoo away someone who's giving me attention? What part of standing in line for 10 hours to say how much they love you is bad to you? "

David Sedaris

Love

Book

" Actually I liked that 'Let the Right One In,' that Swedish vampire movie. "

" When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. "

" There are lots of things that happen to me that I don't write about. "

David Sedaris

Lots

Things

" But most good movies have a gun in them. "

" It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?' "

" I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me. "

David Sedaris

Movies

Everything

" I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated. "

" I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out. "

" People ask me, 'Have you ever considered doing stand-up?' To me it would be less offensive if someone asked me, 'Have you ever considered dental implants?' "

" I've never gone on Facebook and am not sure I understand it. The same goes for Twitter. I have someone sending tweets and pretending to be me, but I don't know why. "

David Sedaris

Gone

Someone

" The only real advice you can give anyone is to keep writing. "

" I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you. "

" I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's. "

" I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners. "