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" But most good movies have a gun in them. "

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" I think it's important to take chances. "

" I started writing when I was twenty, and my first book came out seventeen years later. "

" I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it okay to cry. "

" I love 'Glee.' "

" I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and that makes me feel like the writing is aware of itself, and that makes it OK to cry. "

" I like listening to books as well, as that way you can iron at the same time. "

" When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when you see people trying too hard. "

" I don't like being left to my own thoughts. "

" But I don't distinguish between being laughed with, and laughed at. I'll take either. "

" I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had to force myself. Then it became part of my identity, and I did it without thinking. "

" I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter. "

" Sometimes I say to myself, 'Oh, I wish I could win a Tony Award', although I'm not that bothered. "

" They were nothing like the French people I had imagined. If anything, they were too kind, too generous and too knowledgable in the fields of plumbing and electricity. "

" Because I've always been a fairly nervous person. "

" But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter. "

" People ask if I miss it, but they don't understand that American culture is so ubiquitous that there's nothing to miss. I don't see myself moving back. It's not that I hate the United States. I just always thought it would be a shame not to live in a foreign country. "

" What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny. "

" I like books on tape, and will listen to just about anything. "

" When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. "

" I always knew I wanted it to be illustrated. "

" I go to the movies at least five times a week, and after a while everything becomes a blur to me. "

" I always think it's a good policy to like the people who like you. "

" I've been keeping diaries for 27 years. "

" I like nonfiction books about people with wretched lives. "

" My sister Tiffany told me years ago, 'You can never write about me.' Then she called six months ago and said she wanted to be in a story. She was worried people thought I didn't like her. "

" I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like. "

" I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration. "

" Sometimes with 'The New Yorker,' they have grammar rules that just don't feel right in my mouth. "

" I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners. "

" I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended. "