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" Injustice is relatively easy to bear; what stings is justice. "

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" Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient. "

" Women always excel men in that sort of wisdom which comes from experience. To be a woman is in itself a terrible experience. "

" For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. "

" Judge: a law student who marks his own examination-papers. "

" A prohibitionist is the sort of man one couldn't care to drink with, even if he drank. "

" Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. "

" I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time. "

" Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil. "

" The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt. "

" A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman. "

" To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true! "

" Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends. "

" Poetry has done enough when it charms, but prose must also convince. "

" One may no more live in the world without picking up the moral prejudices of the world than one will be able to go to hell without perspiring. "

" The worst government is often the most moral. One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane. But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression. "

" The only really happy folk are married women and single men. "

" I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone. "

" Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. "

" Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. "

" Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian. "

" Most people are unable to write because they are unable to think, and they are unable to think because they congenitally lack the equipment to do so, just as they congenitally lack the equipment to fly over the moon. "

" We must be willing to pay a price for freedom. "

" To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess. "

" I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing. "

" The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. "

" A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier. "

" The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor. "

" Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. "

" Historian: an unsuccessful novelist. "

" Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. "