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" My Shabbat dinner is not to be reckoned with. "

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" Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience. "

" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "

" When I got a part in 'All American Girl,' in 1994, I remember thinking, 'Now I have a series, I'm not going to need to do standup,' but every night I'd go out afterward and get onstage somewhere. "

" The first time I did stand-up was on a dare. "

" My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act. "

" My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. "

" I have decided now that my mother should be the GPS woman, don't you think? That would be fantastic: 'Make a left in 11 miles. Get over now - I want you to be prepared. Turn right on Elm Street, I want to see if Myrna Rosenblatt is still alive. Make your second left by the Dairy Queen. Don't go in, they're anti-Semitic.' "

" Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing. "

" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "

" I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother. "

" I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons. "

" I've gotten resistance for my entire career. "

" For me, humor is everything! "

" I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners. "

" The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus. "

" I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay. "

" I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy. "

" When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.' "

" I started taking all these cooking classes. I learned a lot in them, but you think you're going to retain it, and you don't. Under the pressure, it's hard to retain everything. "

" Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I'm a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking. "

" Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love. "

" Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh. "

" I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks. "

" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "

" Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator. "

" Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite. "

" As scary as it was being raised by one Jewish mother, I have to feel for my kids because they have two Jewish mothers. "

" I try to win the love and approval of strangers, since it didn't work with my family. "

" Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage. "

" My mother is a tall woman - as is everyone in my family. At her prime, she stood 5 feet 9 inches, which is quite unusual for a woman born in 1922. "