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" Women risked their lives for the right to vote. When I hear people say, 'Oh, I'm not gonna vote,' I just wanna tear their heart out. "

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" I realize as I get older that stand-up is a huge part of who I am. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life. "

" If I was married to a man, and I had the same life situation that I have, it's the perfect recipe for a sitcom. "

" I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons. "

" I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy. "

" I'm not sure when exactly I knew I was funny, but I always knew I was different. I never had an 'edit' button and would say whatever came into my head. Most of the time, what came out of my mouth was the very thing everyone else was thinking - but too polite or afraid to verbalize. "

" For me, humor is everything! "

" Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I. "

" 'The Judy Show' would be the name of my TV show if I had one, but I don't. "

" The more life experience you have, the more comedy you can write. "

" Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing. "

" Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh. "

" When you see another tall woman on the street, you nod, sort of like Orthodox Jews. "

" I'm not selfish at all. "

" My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl - I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the '70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on 'Good Times' seemed better than Clark, NJ. "

" My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act. "

" Joan Rivers was my hero. "

" The first time I did stand-up was on a dare. "

" I'm going to be a 'Chopped' champion. "

" As scary as it was being raised by one Jewish mother, I have to feel for my kids because they have two Jewish mothers. "

" I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks. "

" I always dreamed of living in N.Y.C. "

" Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite. "

" I would love to get married, first of all, from my children's perspective. People don't think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes. "

" People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV. "

" I do believe that it's something that we don't talk about, but when there are clearly defined gender roles, it is much simpler. Because you don't have to think, which people apparently don't like to do. "

" Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative. "

" If I wasn't true to myself, I couldn't live with myself. "

" To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing. "

" I love being a Givenik Ambassador. Not only does it give me a platform to discuss my favorite charities, but I get to talk about my other favorite topic - 'The Judy Show!' "

" My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting. "