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" My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at? "
Margaret Smith
Man
Looking
You
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" I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. "
Eddie Izzard
Funny
Up
Europe
" If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. "
Will Rogers
My Life
Think
Funny
" If you're going to tell people the truth, be funny or they'll kill you. "
Billy Wilder
Going
Funny
You
" Animals are sentient, intelligent, perceptive, funny and entertaining. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children. "
Michael Morpurgo
Pet
Animals
Care
" My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. "
Woody Allen
Funny
Am
I Am
" Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate. "
P. J. O'Rourke
Situation
Funny
Saying
" Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers. "
Jerry Seinfeld
Passion
Funny
Life
" It's funny; it's a real balancing act. In TV, everybody's talking about authenticity. In order to make 'Dirty Jobs' authentic, I really can't be overly informed. The minute I am, I become a host... It's a very tricky business paying a tribute to work, because TV is very bad at it. "
Mike Rowe
Bad
Business
Funny
" I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. "
Groucho Marx
Evening
Wonderful
Had
" I know that I'm going to die and that you're going to die. I can't do anything about that. But I can explore it through a metaphor and make a kind of funny, dark story about it, and in doing so, really exhaust and research as many aspects of it as I can imagine. And in a way, that does give me some closure. "
Chuck Palahniuk
Me
Research
Story
" There's one thing about baldness, it's neat. "
Don Herold
About
Funny
Neat
" When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always thought he was going to last longer. I knew him as being really funny, but at the same time, he had a dark side. "
Robin Williams
Dark
Time
Always
" The fact is I'm choosy, but mainly about a man's character. He has to be interesting, funny and clever. I don't even mind if he's not very good-looking. "
Agyness Deyn
Character
Interesting
Man
" It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.' "
Garrett Hedlund
Look
Funny
Face
" I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church. "
Paul Lynde
Years
Funny
Church
" I'm funny on camera sometimes. In life, once in a while. Once in a while. "
Gene Wilder
Sometimes
Camera
Life
" I am the shortest and least funny person in my family. "
Heather Donahue
Least
Person
Am
" I'm very silly as a person, but quality silliness on-screen has more of an art to it. Harrison Ford, whom I was in 'Morning Glory' with, has mastered that dry funny better than anyone. "
Rachel McAdams
Funny
Art
Quality
" I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people. "
Kurt Vonnegut
Know
You
Think
" I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning. "
Katy Perry
Still
Funny
Girl
" It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life. "
Jimi Hendrix
People
You
Funny
" The avant-garde theater is fun; it is free-swinging, bold, iconoclastic, and often wildly, wildly funny. If you will approach it with childlike innocence - putting your standard responses aside, for they do not apply - if you will approach it on its own terms, I think you will be in for a liberating surprise. "
Edward Albee
Think
Surprise
Innocence
" Sometimes I'm really funny, sometimes I'm quiet, sometimes I'm shy, but I'm constantly changing. "
Elle King
Shy
Sometimes
Quiet
" I do come across people who don't like me, don't like my comedy, don't think it's funny, it's too cutesy, or whatever they hate. And it's like, 'Okay. That's your opinion. Somebody liked it, so that's good.' Hopefully it balances out. "
Demetri Martin
People
Me
Think
" I'm a Twitter addict. Jose Andres is a serial tweeter. It's funny to see which chefs have embraced it, and the different paths they take. "
Anthony Bourdain
Different
See
Funny
" I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Myself
Being Myself
People
" I don't care whether people say, ''The Office' is rubbish, 'Extras' is worse, 'Flanimals' is a waste of time. He's not funny; he never has been. I hate him.' I don't mind that at all. In fact, not only do I expect it, I celebrate it, because I think the haters are really important. "
Ricky Gervais
Time
People
Think
" Japanese people have a funny habit of abbreviating names. "
Shigeru Miyamoto
Funny
People
Names
" There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. "
Jean Baudrillard
Funny
Halloween
Children
" I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room. "
Mercedes McCambridge
Funny
Die
Enough