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" When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them. "

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" I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty. "

" There's one thing about baldness, it's neat. "

" There's always going to be someone as funny as you or funnier. "

" The funny thing about the people I don't like - they're very self-centered. "

" A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book. "

Ernest Hemingway

" When I have had a long day at work, I want something to watch that is funny, lighthearted and easy to get into, and reality is that. I'm not really into serious programmes or documentaries. "

" As for our majority... one is enough. "

Benjamin Disraeli

" I'm thankful enough or blessed enough to be able to say that Miles Davis was a friend when he was alive, and he was a wonderful mentor and really, really funny, you know. "

" I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time. "

" To be or not to be. That's not really a question. "

Jean-Luc Godard

" I rant, therefore I am. "

" I think anyone who has, you know, is in any sort of artistic pursuit, kind of goes up and down with the way they feel about their work. And I, for the most part, am pretty happy person. But, yeah. I go through definite periods of time where I'm not funny. I'm not good. I'm - I don't feel original. "

" Every girls' night needs a funny movie and a good conversation about guys! My friends and I also love picking outfits out for each other to try on at slumber parties. It's so fun. "

Jennette McCurdy

" Ignoring fame was my rebellion, in a funny way. I was insistent on being normal and doing normal things. It probably wasn't advisable to go to college in America and room with a complete stranger. And it probably wasn't wise to share a bathroom with eight other people in a coed dorm. Looking back, that was crazy. "

" We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny. "

" Every dogma has its day. "

Anthony Burgess

" I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. "

" In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it. "

" Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. "

" There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer. "

" There's something very authentic about humor, when you think about it. Anybody can pretend to be serious. But you can't pretend to be funny. "

" I like Ben Stein. I think he's funny, creative, and an insightful commentator on a host of issues. "

" Who included me among the ranks of the human race? "

" You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't. "

Garry Shandling

" I call myself the Amusement Park. That's because I'm funny and scary at the same time. "

" It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man. "

" One man's folly is another man's wife. "

" I own and operate a ferocious ego. "

" All I've wanted to be is someone people look up to. It's funny - everyone says I'm controversial. I've never worked out what it is about me that's controversial. I've never had a DUI; I've never been in a brawl; you've never seen photos of me walking out of clubs at 5 A.M. "

" Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's harsh or racist. "

Sarah Silverman