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" The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind. "

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" Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them. "

" Every man is his own hell. "

" Theology is the effort to explain the unknowable in terms of the not worth knowing. "

" What men value in this world is not rights but privileges. "

" I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant. "

" Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love. "

" Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking. "

" Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. "

" The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out... without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane, intolerable. "

" I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone. "

" Nine times out of ten, in the arts as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed. "

" Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly. "

" A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. "

" Adultery is the application of democracy to love. "

" All government, of course, is against liberty. "

" Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. "

" Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. "

" When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. "

" Most people want security in this world, not liberty. "

" A national political campaign is better than the best circus ever heard of, with a mass baptism and a couple of hangings thrown in. "

" A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there. "

" Historian: an unsuccessful novelist. "

" No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not. "

" Life is a constant oscillation between the sharp horns of dilemmas. "

" I hate all sports as rabidly as a person who likes sports hates common sense. "

" Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. "

" Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age. "

" A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman. "

" Let's not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse. "

" The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor. "