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" I'm a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys - movie-star guys, where they could help me through it. "
LeBron James
Help
Love
Funny
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" Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. "
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" My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra. "
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" Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? "
Robert Benchley
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" It's funny: the one time I got star-struck was when I met Snoop Dogg. I gave him a hug and said, 'I love you, man.' "
Mark Foster
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" But it's funny that now I'm in such a happy situation, I look more objectively at my own past and see what others have seen for a long time and I'm just so glad I've been able to get to this point. "
Rick Allen
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Look
" When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.' "
Susan Sarandon
Kind
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Say
" Every night on the court I give my all, and if I'm not giving 100 percent, I criticize myself. "
LeBron James
Night
Percent
Giving
" I think serial monogamy says it all. "
Tracey Ullman
I Think
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" I like being around people. "
LeBron James
Like
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Around
" I used to write out of angst. My writing was quite miserable, quite angry, even when it was funny. It was based on this sadness and tired emotional disdain for the world. "
David Thewlis
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" I like having a beard. What's funny is when you shave a beard, you realize how freezing cold your face is! The primary purpose evolution-wise is to keep you warm, to grow hair on your face. You shave it off, and your face is freezing for a few days. "
Adam Scott
Funny
Hair
Purpose
" I exaggerate all our selves, our beings. I make fun of everything: of our life and what we are. But I don't tell jokes, really. I just exaggerate life, and it comes out funny. "
Don Rickles
Everything
Life
Out
" Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. "
Robert Benchley
Drawing
Funny
Nothing
" People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. "
Isaac Asimov
Great
Us
Think
" James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was. "
Will Ferrell
Waiting
End
Film
" I've never been to a dinner party where everyone at the dinner table didn't say something funny. "
Lorrie Moore
Funny
Dinner
Table
" Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.' "
Ron Funches
Funny
Me
Nice
" You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am. "
Rush Limbaugh
Know
Funny
You
" Pretty people don't keep comedies on the air. Funny people keep comedies on the air. "
Allison Jones
Pretty
Keep
People
" It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat. "
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Funny
Fat
Simple
" Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. "
Abraham Lincoln
Ability
Tact
See
" I like children - fried. "
W. C. Fields
Like
Children
Fried
" There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. "
Josh Billings
Mistake
Memory
Funny
" It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. "
Dave Barry
Body
Funny
Person
" As for our majority... one is enough. "
Benjamin Disraeli
Majority
Our
Enough
" I'm going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli. "
Michael J. Fox
Marry
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Up
" Sometimes I'm really funny, sometimes I'm quiet, sometimes I'm shy, but I'm constantly changing. "
Elle King
Shy
Sometimes
Quiet
" My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. "
Ellen DeGeneres
Day
Walking
She
" What's another word for Thesaurus? "
Steven Wright
Thesaurus
Funny
Another
" Men are only as loyal as their options. "
Bill Maher
Funny
Options
Only